Will you marry “moi” ?

The Brit’s have the Hen and Stag parties, the Italians have the cutting of the Groom’s tie and the French have the Charivari in the wee hours of the morning among other things… To find truly American Wedding Customs has been very challenging as the U.S.A. is a melting pot of all nationalities. American weddings consist of borrowed traditions and customs from all over the world. Here are a few unique American traditions which I hope our European friends will adopt as well…

The Shower Bouquet: American showers include a wedding bouquet; this was an old English custom which consisted of ribbons and roses, tied together. Today a friend of the bride uses many colorful ribbons from the shower gifts and paper plates from the shower. As each present is opened, the selected friend fits the ends of the ribbons through slits she has made in the paper plate, the bows are tied to the top and the ribbons used to fasten the make shift hat for the bride-to-be.

Bride’s Comments: This is what happens at a wedding shower… a friend of the bride records her comments as she opens each gift. After all has been unwrapped and displayed, everyone gathers around the bride-to-be and the friend reads her recorded comments out loud. This was supposed to indicate the Bride’s reactions on her wedding night; examples would be surprise, joy, oohs and aahs about the size of the gift, its shape, practicality or quality of the presents, and so on. Well you get the idea…

When to Tie the Knot: Prior to the 19^th Century most New Englanders scheduled weddings in March and April, this corresponded to the months before planting time; or in November and December after the harvest. May through October was avoided as these were the months of heavy farm work or the dead of winter. Also the day of the week was important:

Monday for wealth

Tuesday for health,

Wednesday best day of all

Thursday for losses

Friday for crosses and Saturday, no luck at all!!

Something old, Something New: Although this tradition might have started in Great-Britain, an American modern bride will carry “something old, something new, something borrowed something blue” during the service which is considered good luck to do so. Often the bride attempts to have one item that meets all of these qualifications, such as a borrowed blue handkerchief which is “new to her” but loaned by her grandmother (thus making it old). Another addition to this custom is to wear a penny in your shoe, this will bring you prosperity. The full text of the verse is:

Something old, something new,

Something borrowed, something blue,

And a silver sixpence in your shoe.

The Receiving Line: The wedding party lines up in a receiving line so that they can greet each guest in turn. Guests introduce themselves to the first person in the receiving line, and are in turn introduced by that person to the next person, and so forth down the line, until they have exchanged brief greetings with each person in the wedding party.

The Wedding Dance: Many U.S. weddings feature a ritualistic farewell to Dad from the bride; it is the daughter’s waltz with her father at the wedding reception. This graceful good-bye is always very touching.

The Veil: In colonial times American brides wore no veil at all. Today most brides wear a white veil over her face which was said to ward off evil spirits before the ceremony. Bridesmaids were used for the same purpose; the other ladies served to confuse the evil spirits so that the bride could marry without the worry of evil lurking around.

The Groom’s Cake: According to Mrs. Peggy Post of Etiquette, this is a custom here in America which is experiencing a revival; the groom’s cake is smaller than the bride’s and usually of different flavor. Traditionally it was a rich, fruit and nut filled cake, but today’s choice is more likely to be an iced-carrot or chocolate cake, or a rum cake, or a foot-ball cake depending on the groom’s interests.

Confetti’s: The French have traditionally thrown wheat at the bridal couple, the Italians sugar coated almonds, American throw rice, and a sign of fertility but today has been replaced with paper confetti as to not harm the bird’s delicate digestive systems.

Jumping the Broom: This is a custom that has its roots in Africa to symbolize the beginning of making a home together. It had a deeper meaning during the days of slavery in the USA; African American couples were not legally permitted to marry. As a public announcement and a statement of their love and commitment, a man and woman jumped over a broom pronouncing their entrance into matrimony. Today, African-American couples tend to include this custom in their wedding ceremony.

Cowry Shells: Some African-American brides wear cowry shell necklaces, cowry shells are believed to encourage fertility. Also cowry shells were once used as money. Today they are used for purification and as a symbol of beauty and power.

For Better or for Worse:
A less known and less practiced African-American wedding tradition, require that the bride and groom taste lemon representing the sour, vinegar representing the bitter, cayenne pepper as the hot and honey as representing the sweet and delicious times of marriage. This ritual of the “Four Elements” dramatizes the traditional promise to love “for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.”

American-Indian Wedding Prayer: Known commonly as the “Apache Wedding Prayer”, and other variants, the following is a prayer commonly recited at weddings in the United States. According to www.wikipedia.org it is not associated with any particular religion. It was written for the 1950 Western movie “Broken Arrow” which I happened to watch this morning in order to learn a bit more about American-Indian wedding customs; It has no known connection to the traditions of the Apache or any other Native American group. I am including this because it is so profound and lovely. Feel free to use it at your own wedding…

Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies,
But there is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place
To enter into the days of your togetherness
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

Resources: www.wikipedia.com, Peggy Post Etiquette, www.theamericanwedding.com, www.wedding-planning.suite101.com, Vera Lee, Something Old, Something New.

As always, thank you for reading and hope you have enjoyed these American wedding traditions… As always should you need further information on the subject please do not hesitate to let us know. Please stay tuned for our upcoming article on Gay Marriages.