Will you marry “moi” ?

Like the trumpet flourish that announces the Queen’s approaching carriage, a wedding invitation heralds something special and unique. Its arrival, in a thick envelope covered with loops of graceful script or blocks of print, is a signal to your friends and family that the day you have been dreaming of for months is almost there. Your invitation will tell guests not only when and where you will marry, but also the style and tone of your wedding. It will indicate the religious or secular nature of your services, and the formality or informality of the occasion. All wedding invitations should honor tradition to the extend of providing the information guests need to plan their schedules, send their replies, make travel arrangements if planning a Destination Wedding , and select their attire for the big day.

Timing for Orders and Mailing

Wedding invitations are usually mailed six to eight weeks before the wedding date. To place your invitation order in time, count backward from your mailing date. As a general rule, plan on at least two months for printing and delivery of formal invitations, enclosures and envelopes. The wait may be less for nontraditional invitations, but get a reasonable time frame from your stationer or supplier.

If planning a Destination Wedding in a foreign country, you will want to make allowances for extra time, generally six months to mail all your invitations to your wedding planner who will then mail them back directly to your guests from abroad with a distinctive foreign stamp. This time frame also allows for delays in RSVP from your guests as well as time needed for your wedding planner to book transportation, hotels and activities abroad.

Here are Invitation Tips from “Peggy Post”, Emily Post’s great grand daughter in law, who is today’s recognized leading authority on “Etiquette”:

What’s Your Style?

Traditional Formal Invitations

The formal wedding invitation has a precise form and style. It’s printed on a heavy-weight paper of ivory, soft cream, or white. The paper can be flat or have a raised plate mark or margin. Formal invitations may be a large double sheet that is folded twice, a sheet folded once, or a single sheet. The lettering style for a formal invitation is generally classic and conservative, a serif type such as Roman and is printed in black or dark gray ink.

Traditional Wording for a Wedding Invitation

Invitations are customarily written in third-person style, and the wording and spelling are governed by the following conventions:

§ The words “honour” and “favour” (“the favour of a reply…”) are traditionally written in the British style. But the American spellings, “honor” and “favor” are acceptable.

§ The phrase “request the honor of your presence” is correct for an invitation to a ceremony held in a house of worship and may also be used for formal and semiformal weddings in other locations.

§ For invitations to a reception only, the wording is “request the pleasure of your company…”

§ While traditional invitations use the phrase “at the marriage of” it is correct to alter the wording to make grammatical sense in a less formal invitation. For example: “invite you to the wedding of”.

§ When a Roman Catholic mass is part of the ceremony, invitations may include the phrase “and your participation in the offering of the Nuptial Mass” on a separate line below the groom’s name.

§ There is no punctuation except periods after abbreviations (Mr., Mrs.,) and when phrases requiring commas appear in one line (“on Saturday, the ninth of December”). “Senior” and “Junior” may be abbreviated.

§ Names on invitations are written in full. Initials are not used. If someone prefers not to use his or her first or middle name, leave it out.

§ Numbers in the street address mentioned on the invitation are written in numerals: “3737 West End Avenue”. But when there is just one number, it is spelled out: “Thirty West End Avenue”.

§ Half hours are written as “half after seven o’clock” not “half past seven” or “seven thirty”.

§ Numbers in the date of the wedding are spelled out: “the twenty-sixth of July”, this form is perfectly correct. The year is spelled out” two thousand and eight”. The full date of the wedding, including year is always used in wedding announcement.

§ When the invitation is to the wedding only, it does not include an RSVP.

§ The invitation to the reception only or a combined ceremony-reception invitation does request a reply either RSVP or “The favor of a reply is requested.”

Semiformal and Informal Invitations

Semiformal and Informal invitations are often written in a more intimate, first-person tone, though the information is the same as in a formal invitation. The paper and design might incorporate the theme of the wedding, and stationery manufacturers now offer a wide variety of color schemes, borders, and designs. Color inks and contemporary type faces are acceptable, so long as they are easy to read. Today’s couples may prefer to design their invitations to reflect the nature of the occasion and their personal style.

Please Save the Date

Save-the-date cards, giving advance notice of an upcoming wedding, can be very helpful to guests who must make travel plans or when the wedding will be held at a time when there may be conflicts with other activities, such as on major holidays.

Save-the-Date cards are especially useful for alerting guests about a Destination Wedding and a thoughtful gesture, giving guests plenty of time to book flights.

Save-the-Date cards are usually mailed three to four months prior to the wedding. In the case of a Destination Wedding at a distant location, your wedding planner will notify you on when to send your save-the-date cards.

This is done as soon as you finalize the wedding date and confirm the reception hall.

Be sure that everyone who receives a save-the-date card also receives an invitation. Printed on single, standard invitation-sized or postcard-like cards, save-the-date can be informal or formal to match the style of the upcoming wedding or event.

Hand Written Invitations

If your wedding is small and informal, you might consider hand-writing the invitations yourself or hiring a calligrapher to do them. Long after the advent of the printing press, the aristocracy continued to have their invitations hand-lettered as a sign of status. But, this is a major undertaking when the guest list is lengthy. Generally, handwritten notes and invitations are suited for small weddings at which the guest company will be made up of family and close friends. Notes can be written by the bride and groom and /or their families, and each invitation can be issued by the person closest to the invitee. A note must convey the necessary information and can be as original and personal as the writer wishes.

Invitation to the Reception

When all guests are invited to both the ceremony and the reception, you can combine the invitation.

Six Invitation Mistakes to Avoid

The beauty of the traditional invitation is that it’s hard to get wrong. Still mistakes happen, and the time to catch them is before anything is printed.

§ Spelling errors can be avoided by checking, double checking, and having others check your wording. Be particularly attentive to the names and addresses of ceremony and reception sites and the spellings of all names.

§ Any mention of gifts or listing of gift registries in unacceptable. Also do not include a note like “No gifts, please.”

§ If you don’t want children, don’t invite them. Never add notations such as “no children” or “Adults only” to the invitation.

§ Dress notations are not included on a wedding invitation unless the ceremony and reception invitations are combined. If it’s essential to indicate” black tie” or “white tie”, the notation is printed on the lower right corner of the reception invitation.

§ References to food and alcohol service are not included on invitations, although food choices may be mentioned on reply cards.

A Mailing for Travelers

Out-of-town guests usually need to know more than can be included on a direction card, so you may want to prepare a separate mailing. If you are considering a Destination Wedding Abroad, your wedding consultant will provide you with all the necessary information.

JUST REMEMBER …that the way you decide to make the announcement – through your choice of paper, format, type style, printing method and embellishment – will make a first and lasting impression of your wedding, hinting at the tone and of the event just weeks away and serving as a keepsake for years to come!

If you are planning a Destination Wedding abroad and would like to know more about the etiquette of that particular country is, simply contact us at our website and we will run a full article on our next blog.

References: www.wikipedia.com, www.peggypost.com, www.affordableweddinginvitations.net,