Will you marry “moi” ?

The best-man is the chief male assistant to the bridegroom at a wedding. In North America and Europe, the groom extends this honor to someone who is close to him, generally either a brother or his closest male friend. While the best man’s required duties are only those of a friend, in the context of an American/European wedding the best man will typically:

• assist the groom on the wedding day,
• keep the wedding rings safe until needed during the ceremony,
• act as a legal witness to the marriage, and most importantly make a toast to the bride and groom at the reception!

This is where many best-men get into trouble if the toast is not well prepared and thought out… There have been hundreds and hundreds of books written on the matter, here are a few hints I have gotten from the many sites and manuals available on this subject. Below are some ideas taken from the leaders called “www.thebestmanspeeches.com”

The best man speech is an important part of any wedding ceremony, and will be remembered long after the special day is over. The speech traditionally honors the groom, but the bride should also be recognized and the happy couple should be congratulated. Being a best-man is not a joke and should be taken seriously.

Best Man Speeches, also known as toasts, should be prepared well in advance, not simply improvised on the spot. To be successful the speech must be respectful, but also funny. Your comments about the bride and groom should also be personal and sincere, though it is also important to ensure your words are appropriate for a general audience of all ages. Hence best man speeches require you to walk a fine line between impertinence and respect; making personal observations, while ensuring they are understood and appreciated by an audience including both children and the elderly.

Before you set ink to paper, consider the personality of the groom. Is the groom a “prankster,” who laughs easily and appreciates a good joke at his own expense? If so, your speech should mirror the groom’s personality, including funny comments and perhaps even “roasting” the groom a bit (you don’t want to go too far with this — remember it’s all about balance).

Other grooms may be more traditional, serious or sentimental. Again, your speech should mirror these personality traits, including more complementary and respectful anecdotes. You can still include a few jokes; just balance them with plenty of sincere and respectful comments.

Many best man speeches go on way too long. But on the other hand, you don’t want to simply rise and say a few words and then sit back down. As a general rule, shorter is usually better; just make sure the speech is long enough to show that you put some thought and effort into it. A 5 to 10 minute speech is plenty.

When the time is right, you will be called upon to deliver your speech, and it is extremely important that you do not drink too much before you stand to speak. Part of your responsibility as best man is to delay your own fun until you have fulfilled your responsibility to the groom and bride. And there’s no greater breach of etiquette than a best man who drinks heavily and delivers a slurred or incomprehensible speech.

Without a doubt, the most difficult aspect of best man speeches is the opening. The first sentence or two will set the tone for the entire speech. One important tip is to avoid the temptation to start with a big joke or outrageous, attention-getting comment. It is far better to begin simply and respectfully, and save the jokes and more personal comments for later in the speech.

One tried and true method of delivering a best man speech is to begin simple and respectfully (to set the tone). Then move gradually into humorous observations and jokes. Finally, wrap things up on a sentimental and congratulatory tone. This is sometimes known as “the sandwich technique,” because you begin and end with polite and sincere comments, while including funny stories and jokes in the middle of the best man speech.

Here is word of caution, when you intend to deliver a real stunner of a best man speech you should be well organized with all the resources you have so that you could use them to its fullest extent to compose your best man’s wedding speech. Outstanding best man speeches require that you first create a best man speech outline and then start building your actual speech on that foundation. Besides it makes the task that mush easier. This is easily one of the most effective best man speech tips that you should ponder.

Short best man speeches are preferred simply because the audience doesn’t like long tedious wedding speeches. So, make it a point to keep your wedding speech short and sweet. If you happen to be the groom’s brother, you should find it rather easier than others as you are the part of the same family. An article about best man speeches by brothers tells you more about it.

Remember, the golden rule of public speaking is to be yourself. An audience can tell when you’re being natural and when you’re not. If you’re nervous, that’s fine — people understand that public speaking can be nerve-racking, and they’ll usually be very sympathetic. Don’t be afraid to poke fun at yourself — and even your own nervousness. This will disarm your audience and make your best man speech a big hit.

SO, to all the future best-men out there… remember these few hints: this is NOT a joke, you should take your role of best-man very seriously. Do not lose the rings please, this would create a disaster and make the bride cry! Keep your toast clean, fun, imaginative, but mostly respectful and keep the drinks to a minimum before your speech otherwise you will make a fool of yourself and the entire wedding party. Thanks for reading!

References: www.wikipedia.org, www.thebestmanspeech.com, www.googleimages.com