Will you marry “moi” ?

Here is the second in our series of interviews with Caroline Berthe, our very own senior wedding coordinator, who is experiencing for herself the joys and deceptions of organizing her own wedding in France…or will it be in France? Read on to discover the latest twists and turns…

CVW Blog: With the date confirmed and venue selected, what did you do next?

Caroline : I started to talk to all my friends and family about the venue we had chosen and the date of November. Everyone thought it was great we chose a winter wedding and a long holiday weekend as well. Choosing the caterer, photographer and musicians and florist wasn’t the hardest part as I do have my favourites. Although I really wanted them to understand what we were looking for and expecting. I searched for a lot of photos in magazines and online for the florist to get an idea of what I liked and didn’t like, and for the caterer, I first talked to my parents about what they wanted to serve and then started to discuss with the caterer. This allowed less back and forth and waste of time with the different providers. The hardest part was the invitations. We didn’t find anything out there that we liked and that was our style or the style that we wanted our wedding to have. I had sleepless nights searching online for something nice, days contacting different providers…

Costs were so high for just a piece of paper that most guests loose anyway. I didn’t want to spend that much of our budget on something that for me wasn’t the most important element. However, it is the first glimpse to your wedding day for guests, so you do have to choose the right type of invitation, something that will set the scene for the day itself.

Finally, after ordering some invitations, we ended up changing our minds on the colors as well… and therefore just completely changed the type of invitations to a simple double card with our photo on it. We had lots of fun for about 1 hour with our favourite wedding photographers posing like stars in front of the camera. The invitations look great and we have something unique! We also got to practice having our pictures taken, and getting to know the photographers better. This was a real high point.

CVW Blog: Crunch time…when are the deposits due?

Caroline : Once I had negotiated the rental fees of both locations we were using for the ceremony and the reception, it was time to get out our checkbooks. That is when Tony reacted…first he fell silent and then he admitted that that he didn’t think it was the wedding that best fit who we are. I thought he was going to announce that the wedding was off! Yikes! He explained that he didn’t imagine himself in front of 150 guests saying “I do” and that he was really dreaming of a tiny ceremony, more like an elopement type and that he wanted it to be in the snow. His perspective on things was that when I talked about our wedding with the large traditional wedding idea we had at first, he had the impression of just listening to me talk about another of my couple’s weddings, not OUR wedding. He wanted it to be different. So after a complete rethink of our wedding plans and going through Lisa Light’s, international destination wedding planner book called Destination Bride (Lisa is a good friend of mine), we found a fantastic location for our wedding: Sweden, the Ice Hotel! A true winter wonderland wedding, snow and ice guaranteed! We have set the date for March 15^th 2010.

CVW Blog: How did you feel about this about turn?

Caroline : At first I thought that family would be against it, saying that a wedding should be for everyone to participate in and enjoy, with a large reception and party. But it was also the setting of my dreams, even before I met Tony actually. Strange to find out only at that moment that we both had the same dream of a snow wedding! We had just never talked about it considering the fact that a wedding must be traditional in our minds and parent’s minds. But once we had decided that we were getting married for ourselves and creating a special day for ourselves, we were able to move away from the idea of a traditional wedding and go along with something more suited to our style.

CVW Blog: How did your respective parents react to the abrupt change?

Caroline : At first, our parents thought it was a great idea but hadn’t understood that it meant we were cancelling the traditional wedding day. Therefore we came to an agreement of 2 weddings: one in Sweden with just close friends and one in France in the Pyrenees for family and more friends, thus also limiting the number of guests to a number that felt comfortable to all of us. Tony’s father particularly thought that this was also more his type of day than a big formal wedding and was quickly on board! My parents were thrilled with our idea to do a very informal garden party type wedding around the old chapel were we all got baptized. A very charming venue, everything outside, long rectangular tables and a garden theme decoration to stay away from a formal traditional wedding. Going back to this tiny chapel for them on my wedding day meant a lot. It ended all conversations instantaneously.

CVW Blog: What compromises and concessions had to be made?

Caroline : fixing the date was a bit hectic. Budget constraints as well. However after several weeks of putting together pricing and ideas for parents to review, we were able to come to a compromise. As more and more couples pay for their own wedding, we decided to pay for the Swedish wedding and help as much as we could for the French wedding. Our parents are firm on saying that they are giving us this gift of a very special day for us in France.

CVW Blog: Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

Caroline : Yes, the date and venue have finally been booked in Sweden and the date and venue confirmed in the south of France…The only disappointing part of all this is that our parents on both sides decided that we should do the elopement wedding in Sweden with just our closest friends/witnesses/brothers and sisters and not with our parents present. They feel it should be a trip for the “younger” ones to enjoy but that they will enjoy seeing the photos and video we have planned to do on-site.

Don’t miss the next episode when we will discuss the following…

Choosing the wedding dress

Wedding favors for Sweden

Paperwork for the legal ceremony